I’m Back!

First and foremost, I feel the utmost need to apologize to my followers for being absent for the past 2 + months.  I have been going through much more than I can even share on this page that you are reading right now, and please know that I appreciate ALL of the comments, criticism and suggestions that you’ve all continued to post.  I’ve always tried to respond to each and every one of you, but as you can tell I have been more than lackluster in this endeavor as of late.

As I lay in my bed with only my laptop screen illuminating the room, I will start typing the remainder of this post with as few edits as possible.  I don’t want to think; I just want to write.  I NEED to write this.  Me – curled up in a ball right now, too lazy to move the clothes from the foot of the bed whilst forming these words with subsequent keyboard strokes – I am finding myself again – the REAL me, because it’s been suppressed for quite a while.  Typing this is beyond cathartic to say the least.  Shall I commence?  Heck yea..

Besides totaling my 2 month old dream car about 2 weeks ago, my world had been turned upside down.  Everything that I have ever known for what seems like forever has been flipped inside out –  Well maybe not everything, but I’m not 100% comfortable with laying it all out here like an open book for all to see. I’m still coming to terms with this whole blogging and mixing in bits of one’s personal life, so I shall continue to teeter on this thin line, and here I shall remain – for now at least.  Please, just know I had good reason for my absence.

The remainder of these paragraphs aren’t going to be about an Android app (sorry to disappoint).  Instead I’m going to briefly talk about October 13th, 2013 – a day that I didn’t think I’d even be able to drag myself out of my bed to conquer.  I signed up for the CGI’s Perfect 10 Mile race (1st annual, all female) many months ago and looked forward to this day for quite some time.  The days leading up to it – not so much.  Still, I got up after only sleeping about 3 hours, put on my running shoes and signature hair ribbon and said, “Let’s do this.”  After all, a lot can happen in ten miles – possibilities including mental escape, acceptance, confusion and even personal achievement.  Ten miles is actually quite a long time to be alone with your own thoughts…just saying.  Even so, I wouldn’t trade this 1 Hour 43 minutes and 10 seconds for anything.

I ran this race with 2 people who are close to me.  We all finished separately, one of which was at the finish line for me.  No one else came, but that’s ok.  I know my family would have been there in a heartbeat to support me, but I made them promise to save the gas $ and opt to stay home.  You know, when running an all female race and seeing other runners’ significant others and children coming out to support them, you can’t help but want that too – well kinda.  I’m not really that needy, but it does put things into perspective.  Ok, it is so incredibly easy right now to go off on a tangent and start writing like this is a diary and it’s taking every effort not to do just that.  Instead I’m going to wrap it up.

Long story short, on this day I found out what I was really made of – the good, the not-so-good and even some bad.  I was forced to see it, so much so that it distracted me around Mile # 6 and it took me about 5 minutes to get my head back in the game so it didn’t ruin my pace.  Emotions ran (no pun intended) rampant.  Truths were realized as hard as they were to hear.  I still kinda wish they didn’t echo over and over again in my head, but still in the wake of the aftermath, the running never stopped (well maybe only at the water stations – I have been known to spill all over myself when attempting to run through them).

Thumbs up! Taken shortly after finishing.

I can honestly say that these 10 miles made me a stronger woman.  This was truly a great day.  Now off to Vegas for the Rock and Roll Half Marathon in November…well maybe = )